Oh, there I am.
Hi, I'm Rosemarie DeWitt and I play Rachel in Rachel Getting Married.
And I like our cool title sequence.
I want my fucking Zippo now.
- Walter, that is a behavior that will get you... - Fuck you!
Jonathan had showed us a movie, After the Wedding.
And he said it was sort of a leaping off point for him, you know, inspiration wise.
But none of us were allowed to go behind the monitors.
...to see what the film actually looked like while we were shooting.
So once it started I realized we weren't making, sort of...
...the more traditional family, kind of, Family Stone movie.
We were really in the world of this jagged, handheld...
...you know, stark world.
So, I remember this opening shot, I was like, "Wow. He really did make this movie. "
It was a mistake. I'm lucky I didn't get fired. We've discussed this.
Hey. Here you are.
I thought you were going to abandon me in rehab.
- No. - It's 10:30. You're half an hour late.
I was just standing out here with these lunatics.
- Oh, my God, you look so great. - So do you, darling.
- Can I take care of that? Hi, Paul Buchman. - Rosa. We met last time you came up.
Jenny's script is so good.
...because I feel, like, right off the bat, these scenes to me feel very improvised.
And they're saying them word for word, at this point anyway.
Kym. Good luck to you.
Thank you.
All right. Hey, where is everybody?
- Hey, Carol. - Hello, Kym.
Where is everybody? Where's Rachel?
She's back at the house getting ready.
There is so much going on at the house, I cannot tell you, dear.
And you know your sister's doing everything herself.
My sister's bending the environment to her will? Really?
There's no wedding planners or anything like that. It's just her.
...and Sidney and a whole lot of their friends. And she is so thrilled.
- That you're coming home. - Great.
And I think this is where it begins, that Declan Quinn, our fabulous DP...
...becomes truly another character in the movie because he's in every scene with us...
...you know, now in the car.
And I feel like Jonathan just gave him the same free rein he gave all of us...
which was, you know, "Follow the impulses in your body. "
You know, feel where the most energy is and the most information.
...and just shoot that rather than planning shots.
And, you know, he's really...
His perspective is just a real human perspective.
I love Bill Irwin.
Nachtmahr was a nightmare so bad it's in German.
I see.
Rachel must be, like, totally freaking out. Is she too tense?
I just feel like none of these shots were planned, it was just wherever...
wherever Declan felt the most interesting thing was happening.
That's where the camera would go.
No offense, Dad, but you never thought that was a problem for her.
So I'm really looking forward to seeing Mom.
You'll see your mom tonight and Andrew at the rehearsal dinner.
Well, maybe I'll head over there, to her house, after I see Rachel.
Well, I don't know.
Can we pull over, please?
I'm sorry, I feel nauseous, and I need something to drink.
That's one of my favorite lines in the movie.
I prefer Pepsi from the fountain.
Hey, didn't I see you on Cops?
This house is so amazing, it was so sprawling and cavernous.
And we pretty much did just live in it. No one would go back to their trailers.
We would just arrive in the morning.
...and then, sort of, live here with all these people all the time.
And kind of get to know each other, and become a family and really plan a wedding.
Hi, gentlemen.
And I love this, I love how the characters are introduced and they're not explained...
...that you just, kind of, get to know the family as you would if you showed up to...
...you know, witness their wedding.
This for me was the hardest scene to shoot in the entire movie.
Just because it was the first day of shooting for Anisa and I.
And I think we weren't sure what world we were in.
And, you know, there's supposed to be all this history.
...and Annie and I should be able to finish each other's sentences.
And it's, you know, the second time we've been around each other in our lives.
...and it's like game on.
I think Tim did an amazing job editing this scene.
...because I think we were, kind of, all over the place and terrified.
So what's the deal? Are you an actual shrink yet?
And we were just trying to figure out where is this camera going to be.
...and what exactly is it shooting.
Because it felt like it was flying all over the room.
I will have my PhD in a year and a half...
I remember Annie coming in and just, God, firing on all cylinders.
...and rolling all over my dress and on the bed with her cigarette.
And I remember feeling like, "Oh, God. I'm so uptight and tense.
"and I'm just gonna singlehandedly ruin this entire film. " And then I got home that night.
...and thought, "Oh, that's right, that's the dynamic. "
When Kym walks in, she takes all the oxygen out of the room.
...and everyone feels like they don't know how to be.
I know.
And she confessed to you her secret Elvis Stojko fantasy.
- How did you... - What?
- I spied on you. - Elvis Stojko, the figure skater?
Oh, my God!
I think the set is so incredible in this movie...
...because I never, for once, didn't think that we were living in a house like this.
And I love that decision to shoot this in the parents' master bedroom.
...and have the girls so comfortable there.
Like you really get that they grew up in this house.
By Barry. By Barry!
And just when Barry gets to...
Watching this scene, I love that we didn't rehearse.
Because Anne and I are just... All this Elvis Stojko, Barry Manilow stuff is just...
...you know, her having a great impulse.
...and me trying to come find her in the scene and discover each other.
- But he doesn't care. - Right. Oh, my God!
I'm going to go downstairs and find Olive and get some unconditional love.
You look great.
- Welcome home. - Thank you. Emma.
So brave that her character goes right to Ethan's room, I think.
I don't think I went in there until the last day of shooting.
Speaking of dogs, when am I going to meet this fianc� of yours, anyhow?
I think it says so much about her character.
...and where she's at and how hard she's trying.
And you can hear Zafer on the violin.
It was so amazing, the way the music worked in this film.
I mean, I think they were really improvising and composing all on the spot.
And they would play something and then Jonathan would go downstairs and say...
"Could it be a little bit more melancholy?"
And, you know, no one knew what anyone else was doing in another room.
...and yet somehow it was all, kind of, seamlessly coming together.
This is where the shot, to me, feels like a horror movie, but I guess there is some...
...you know, underlying horror that we've yet to discover.
I love the way Jonathan lets all this unfold, too.
Because you don't know who those two people are yet...
...and yet they're invoking so much.
I think almost like this movie is even better in the second viewing...
...once you see all the pieces.
- It's too hot. - I don't eat gluten, Paul.
- Two... - May I have one, too?
Yeah. You don't eat what, dear?
Gluten.
- Where's Kym? - Besides, I'm in my dress.
You're in your dress? Let me see it.
- No! - No!
- All right. Okay. - Come on, Olive.
- What can I get for you, Kymmie? - Actually, I'm late for a meeting.
And I have to pee into a cup and register as a general biohazard.
These kind of scenes were so much fun because they were just not blocked.
You just got to live in the house and somehow Declan would come find you.
...and you didn't have to worry about whether...
The house was always, kind of, lit to be shot in any room.
...and, like, Anne could just come flying down the stairs and they could stop.
...and have a conversation at any point.
And it's so liberating for an actor.
Hi. Hi, I'm here to pee into a cup.
Anne Hathaway is so amazing in this movie.
- The meetings are over in the other building. - I know that.
Someone will be right with you. Have a seat.
What was so great about the way we shot this, too...
was that these two worlds really were separate.
You know, like I never saw any of this.
...until I sat in a movie theater and watched it. You know, the 12-step meetings.
And I just feel like that also fits the dynamic of the family.
That they just have no idea what this poor girl is going through.
...and how hard she's fighting to heal and forgive herself and...
Jonathan got all these great New York actors, Matt Stadelmann and Paul Sparks.
Oh, that guy, Darrell Larson's a great director. Just all these great artists.
And he put them in the movie to, sort of, see what kind of chemical reaction happened.
This guy's so cool, Pastor Mel, and he's the real deal, you know...
...he's one of those guys.
who is doing this everyday in real life. He's not an actor.
And that was an interesting thing, too...
...to be working with actors and then people who were not actors.
...and hoping that the truth and the reality all matched each other.
That nothing seemed performative.
...or, you know, too slick, because these people were really real and raw.
You know, and people helping me and providing for me...
You know, you relapse, you got to start all over again.
And, man, I got tired of starting over again.
You know, it was dramatic. You know, there's a lot of, you know...
It's ups and downs and it's crazy, and then...
And just recently, there's something, you know...
I can feel myself almost, like, missing the drama sometimes. Like, I'm...
It gets so boring sometimes.
You know I used to say I'm not an addict. And it took me years to say I was an addict.
Then I spent years, like... That's all I was.
You know? I was just an addict.
I love the way Jonathan casts because I think all these people...
It seems so real to me after the NA meetings I sat through.
...and the Al-Anon meetings I sat through.
All of us have felt that way at some time.
But I want to encourage you. You're doing well.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
...the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
And it says keep coming back, 'cause it works, if you work it.
Well, thanks a lot. I'll see you next time.
Kymmie! Carol, she's here.
Kymmie! I got a sandwich for you, darling. It's meat loaf.
- Hi, dear. - Hey.
- Quite a ride, huh? - Yep.
- Meat loaf. - Look at that.
- Yeah. - Yummy.
- Okay. - Wow. Thank you.
- You're welcome. - That's big.
I'm so glad you're here, darling. I'm so glad you're back.
I had such an amazing take on this character.
I read it and the father seemed just so deeply sad...
...you know, after losing his son.
Just deeply sad and sort of unable to go on and you know...
I'm sure most of you know that Bill Irwin is this masterful clown, does clown work.
And it's amazing for me to see the joy...
...the enormous joy he brings to this character.
Even if it's just a cover a lot of the time.
It's so different than what it was on the page.
- How are you? - Good.
All these actors, they just brought...
They took an amazing script and elevated it so much.
I think that we have started a new tradition.
- That's what I think, yeah. - Yeah. What's that?
I think it's the best man and the maid of honor.
...sneaking off to get it on...
while the rest of the wedding party very happily.
...and furiously plans for the big event.
I love that so much of the action in the movie...
...the sex and the fighting, happen in the first half hour.
And it's not the way a lot of scripts...
...films kind of build to this crazy climax and then there you have it.
And then you resolve it neatly and tie it in a bow.
I feel like so much of the chaos starts right out of the gate.
...and then it's like, "How do we plug into each other and how do we deal?"
Do you love it?
And there's so much tension in all these scenes.
Isn't it beautiful? We should just cover your tattoo.
What?
Nothing, nothing. I just really like the gray.
Of course you do.
This is another scene early on.
'Cause Jonathan didn't tend to say a lot when we were working.
He really let us play and find things and experiment.
And this was a scene where he really directed us to all go at each other.
And I remember thinking, "This early, this early on we're going to...
"We're going to start here? Where will we have to go?"
But we just trusted him.
Why is Emma the maid of honor? Why am I not the maid of honor?
Because.
What does that mean?
Because I wasn't entirely sure when you were coming or if you'd even make it.
Most scenes we didn't do a ton of takes, this one we did a ton of takes.
...and by the end of it... Annie's really present as an actress.
...and by the end of it, she just looked at me and started crying and said...
"Can you please stop yelling at me. "
And I realized that we were really inhabiting these people's lives.
...at all times because he's never resolved his own trust issues.
- That's odd. - You know what? Shut the fuck up!
- Blow me! - Okay.
- Leave Dad alone. - I'd love to. I want to, okay?
He won't let me. I just...
I can feel him watching me all the time. And Carol, and you guys, too.
Because we have nothing better to think about.
You know, everyone in the house is looking at me like I'm a visiting sociopath.
I mean, seriously, what do you expect me to do, burn the house down?
That was a mattress fire. That was not even at home. It was at a sleepover.
Okay, you know what? Fine. Fuck you both. You win.
I'm going to get "hazmat" tattooed across my forehead for you people.
- Will that make you happy? - God, you're like a harpy!
Okay, is being my maid of honor that important to you?
Because I didn't think you gave a shit. I'm sorry.
How could you fucking say that to me?
Jesus. Emma.
Emma, would you be horribly offended and hurt.
...if I asked you step down as maid of honor?
I love that Anisa doesn't back down.
I love that the character of Emma doesn't back down from Kym.
...because everyone, sort of, has to.
And we so need her to be Rachel's advocate and she does such a beautiful job.
- Okay, fine. Fine. - Not really.
You can have it. The crown is yours. First runner-up.
Thank you, Emma, thank you.
- You know what? - Everything is not about you, Kym.
No, it's not about me. It's about sisterhood.
You're such a paragon of sisterhood. Hooray for sisterhood!
You know what? Sisterhood conquers all.
You know, I can really see rehab has done wonders for you, Kym.
Okay, now we get into the rehearsal dinner which as an actor...
...this was just so cool because it was as if we just...
And the same thing with the wedding...
we sort of just got to show up and experience it.
Like we walked into this hall.
And, I mean, all of this was a surprise to all of us.
We didn't know that we were going to be so wildly entertained.
And here we have Jonathan's son Brooklyn and Barry jamming out.
And here we are listening to what will be at our wedding.
And we just had no idea.
So, really our only obligation as actors was to come and enjoy it.
Of course, you know with all the back story about all the deep sadness.
...and Mom not showing up till two hours in and what not.
And it really gives the actors, you know...
A lot of scenes ended up on the cutting room floor 'cause we just didn't need them.
But there are scenes like this where you really get to know everybody...
...even if things got cut out later.
And these are very improvised.
Well this whole scene, I don't know that this was even in the original script.
Paul Lazar, there really is...
You could make a movie just about all the amazing artists in this movie.
And people who...
Like Paul is such an interesting director and actor.
- Rachel - Sidney.
You know I tapped her on the shoulder. I was like...
So amazing to listen to these speeches and learn about your character...
...because these actors were asked to give toasts.
...and talk about their relationship to the bride and groom.
And then all of a sudden your world just gets so much more rich and it expands.
There's no acting in these scenes. These people are singing and jamming.
...and we're just literally really blown away by them.
You know, Paul, you've been such a great friend of mine over the years.
I mean Donald Harrison Jr. Should be an actor full time, he's amazing.
Watching everyone grow up. Rachel. Kym.
And now Rachel's getting married. Rachel getting married.
Yeah.
But we also need to honor my little friend Ethan.
who's gone on to another plane now, you know.
But his spirit is here and he lives in our heart...
Again, we had to do so few takes on these scenes.
...because we didn't know what the other actors were going to do...
...once they got up there, or say, so, everyone's reactions are...
...you know, unplanned.
And there was no worry about anything getting stale.
...because we did it once and we never saw it coming.
That's the A-side. The B-side is Sidney loves Rachel.
It was also a really cool experience to have...
Well, to A, work with Tunde who's this just soulful, awesome guy.
And to have no time to rehearse or build this whole relationship.
...or even this physical relationship with each other...
...and have to really discover each other while the camera was rolling.
And you go in thinking it's gonna be one thing like, you know...
...you're going to have this crazy chemistry.
...and then we were a little awkward and a little tentative around each other.
And then that became Rachel and Sidney.
But it's fun to find that.
...and let it be what it wants to be and tell the story that it wants to tell.
And of course, we had to eat lots of Indian food in this scene.
This is another scene, I think maybe we did three takes.
...of the toast portion of the rehearsal dinner.
And they were 45 minutes apiece.
And the whole movie was handheld.
You know, this one scene we actually had to put them on bungee cords because I think...
I don't know that Declan's neck and shoulders could have handled it.
So they were on bungee cords to create the feel of being handheld.
- I don't think so. - You always pretend you don't know people.
- Watch my dress. - Is it 'cause you owe them money?
I'm sorry, family members only in this discussion.
Speaking of which, where is Mom? Where's our mother?
How can she not be here? I haven't seen her since I've been home.
She called a couple of times and she said she's running late...
- But she should be here soon. - God.
Kieran, do you want any of this saag paneer?
No, thanks. Is there any krill?
- I'm kidding. Sorry, it's a joke. - It just went over my head.
I can't believe Mom would be late for my release back into the wild.
All this was scripted.
But it was amazing to then effortlessly be able to jump into sort of, improv.
Because most of these speeches, with the exception of the maid of honor...
...the best man and obviously Kym, they were in the script...
...and everybody else who jumped up and spoke did it as they felt moved to speak.
Which again is a gift to an actor. It just kept everyone on their toes.
...and we all gave speeches, they're not all in the movie.
Maybe they'll be on the DVD.
Now I just help Sidney out with the business side of his stuff.
Sweet.
What's so great, too, about the way this was shot...
I think maybe we had five or six cameras going in this scene.
Some were camcorders, some were production cameras...
...some were the wedding videographer.
You know, you miss all this, like, the whole relationship, like our parents, you know.
The amazing Debra Winger and Bill Irwin were...
The looks between the two of them, you know...
we weren't privy to as the actors in the scene.
And then seeing the movie we were like, "Wow, this world's so complicated. "
And all these introductions were really nerve-racking.
...in that I had just met these actors.
...and then introducing Carol-Jean and John Anthony to my parents.
...and hoping I get their names right.
And Kyrah.
- Pleasure. - Don't you steal her.
- Hi. - Nice to meet you. Congratulations.
- Thank you. - And this is Grandma.
- Hello. - Emma!
Mom, you look so great. Really, you look amazing.
Honey, don't smoke. I don't think it's... Can you smoke here?
- Yeah, yeah, totally. It's a private party. - This is the best man, Kieran.
- Nice to meet you. - Very nice to meet you. I'm Kieran.
How's Grandma? Is she still surly and irascible?
She's great. You know Grandma. She sends her love.
- Great, same. - You want to sit?
Go put the cigarette out, 'cause I don't think it's fine.
- Sit. - Just put it out.
- Okay. It's going out.
The father of the bride and the father of the groom are not supposed to do anything.
...but grin like jack-o'- Lanterns and write checks...
I think one of the really cool things about getting to write a toast for the wedding.
...or in my case, I got to write my vows for the wedding...
...is it really...
...made you think about the themes in the wedding.
Love and...
...marriage and, you know, what those things mean to you, like in a deeply personal way.
It was really awesome to be able to get up there and say your own words.
...once in a while, in the midst of this amazing script that Jenny wrote.
I love Bill's toast.
...and its complicated tax structure.
We just met.
I just want you to know how blessed we are to be.
...joining forces with you, and we've just met, but I'm going to tell you, we love you.
Well, I have known Sidney for...
What is it? Fifteen, 20, 20... Most of my life, most of my life.
He's been a great friend.
He's been with me through thick and thin.
And.
I'll tell you, sometimes it's gotten very, very thin.
I love this sequence of the rehearsal dinner.
You know, I think on the page it was best man, maid of honor, Kym's speech.
...and then maybe we would have cut to the fight afterwards, the aftermath.
And in this Jonathan, by letting us really live it.
...and letting it really be a rehearsal dinner the way it would be...
Kym gives her speech and then... And it's horrifying.
And everybody's in pain and struggling with the fact.
...that she just gave an amends speech at her sister's rehearsal dinner.
And then he cuts to someone talking about getting stoned with Sidney in Jamaica.
...and then a very drunk guest, Beau, you know...
...just riffing about love and everybody finds it hilarious.
And you really start to feel how isolated and alienated Kym is in this world.
And the struggle, you know, of the addict to stay sober and stay on course.
But I think by shooting this way...
By shooting so many movies, I think we had about 15 movies in here...
...you really get to tell something that's really true.
So I've known the bride her entire life. Not biblically speaking.
Except for that time we French-kissed at Evan Yasky's party in ninth grade.
Stop!
God, these actors are all so good.
Watching this movie, every actor is just so damn good.
So do you remember when I was teaching you how to drive in the Wagoneer...
...and you sideswiped that taxi and knocked off his side mirror?
No, I have no recollection of that whatsoever.
Well, well, well, I would like to share with everyone that Miss Rachel...
...before she had her license or knew anything about how to drive...
...managed to out-maneuver an irate, screaming cab driver.
...all the way across 96th Street to the East River...
...handily avoiding two EMT guys loading an old lady.
...onto a gurney or something.
Watching this, it's almost as if...
It's just the Rachel-Kym relationship is almost striking me as a great love story...
...in that, you know, the way you sort of track your lover in a room.
It's the way I...
God, I was just so plugged in to her at all times, even in these big group scenes.
I'm always aware of where she is and I think vice versa.
And it was just really interesting to be just so plugged in to another actor.
...even if there's 60 other people in the room and you're not speaking to each other.
So here's to a woman who can.
...drive fast, pick up a paramedic, make up foreign languages.
...and still get you home in one piece. And, Sidney, you're a lucky bastard.
Hear, hear.
There are moments in this where I'm not sure that we were...
I don't even know if we were making a movie anymore, I think we were just getting to.
...experience each other.
This was one of those moments when Carol-Jean says...
"This is what it's like in Heaven. "
I mean we were all...
We're showing the laughing take but there was one where we were all really choked up.
Maybe being able to work this way...
Here's to you, Sid. I love you to pieces. You're the best brother anybody can ask for.
I love that this is not the movie where the maid of honor gets 10 lines...
...the second bridesmaid gets five and the other ones don't speak.
I love that this is a movie where everyone's character gets fleshed out.
I just... I'm so grateful.
...to be your bridesmaid and be a part of this moment and...
Don't look at me like that.
Kym's speech I think is, to me, one of the most brilliant bits of acting in the film.
Hello.
It's so painful to watch.
Hello.
I'm Shiva the destroyer and your harbinger of doom for this evening.
I would like to thank you all for coming and welcome you.
Even though I haven't seen most of you since my latest stretch in the big house.
But you all look fabulous.
So during the 20 minutes or so that I was not in the hole for.
...making a shiv out of my toothbrush, I actually did participate.
...in the infamous 12-step program.
All the reactions on everyone's face, I mean, there are no extras in this movie.
And everybody is really intimate with the story and I think it makes all the difference.
There's no person sitting in that room who hasn't.
...read the script and really knows who they are to this family...
which you don't see in films often.
...is about making amends.
So, I did a lot of apologizing to people.
Some of whom barely remembered me, most of whom barely remembered anything.
And I apologized for...
...you know, like, bouncing a check...
...or passing out in their bathtub or flooding their.
...house and, you know, just basically for involving them in.
...sordid activities that they were desperately trying to forget. I
...had to call this one girl who was, I think, 14...
...but she couldn't come to the phone actually because.
...her mom had taken out a restraining order, but...
But anyway... So I spent a lot of time... The point is, I spent a lot of time.
...apologizing to people who were pretty much perfect strangers.
So, I would very much like to take this opportunity.
...to not only congratulate my extraordinary sister...
...the future explorer in matters of the mind, thank you very much...
...and her adorable, impending husband.
...on the occasion of their unprecedented nuptials...
...but also, to apologize to said extraordinary sister...
...future explorer in matters of the mind, for...
I just think that speech has so many layers.
Maybe Annie did three takes of it.
I just think it's really masterful what she's doing.
I've been a nightmare, you've been a saint...
...and I'm really just so damn glad to be here with you.
...and Sidney's family and our family and just...
Everyone's together and I'm just...
It's really great. So I am hereby.
...raising my seltzer to my laudatory sister.
...and herewith making amends.
Sidney, you are robbing our dysfunctional family.
...of one of its most vital ingredients...
...and its only member still willing to lend me money.
- So, boo on you. - That's not true.
Anyway, enjoy Hawaii.
- L'chaim. - L'chaim.
One, two, one, two.
I think the whole aspect of the film that our family was part of the music industry...
You know, that Paul is an executive at a record company and Sidney is...
I think that that's something that Jenny and Jonathan found later.
...as they workshopped the script together and it's such a vital ingredient in the film.
It just gave us so many places to go.
Also, that the film can then be scored live.
...and that there will be musicians floating around the house.
But then just an opportunity to put in.
...all these truly fabulous people like Fab Five Freddy...
...and that it would be possible that they were hanging out in Jamaica.
...and listening to music and signing bands.
...and I think it sort of blew open this whole.
...upper class, white Connecticut world.
...and just brought it into the larger world.
I know.
Sidney has always nurtured me and supported me...
I think Paul really is drunk in this scene.
In lira, it's billions.
And I have no idea why he's wearing those sunglasses.
...and amazing stuff, and...
- This is not an award. - I know, I'm not even using it.
See like this, this should be the train wreck moment at the rehearsal dinner.
But what's so genius is that it already happened with Kym.
...and that's the only one that we choose to remember and focus on.
Because she's still.
...constantly getting punished for something that happened a long time ago.
We even did...
In one of the takes when Zafer...
...here he sort of reprises Donald Harrison's version of Rachel and Sidney...
which is so beautiful.
We did something where everyone at the table sort of hummed it.
And there's a lot of things that ended up not in the movie.
...but the residual is there and we got to do it.
But the residual is there and we got to do it.
So, it doesn't really matter that it's not in the movie.
Oh, God, I am exhausted.
- Is there any watermelon? - Let me see.
This is one of my favorite scenes in that way of shooting...
...that you can go into a dark room and a camera will follow you.
And as an actor it's your obligation to find the lights if you want to be seen.
And that we're not, you know...
...building the scenes around the way they were lit.
They're lighting and shooting around what the actors are doing.
"Amends. Noun, usually followed by 'for,' off-set a disability.
"or frustration by development in another direction. "
- Yes. - But you've never said anything to me.
...that's remotely apologetic...
...yet all of sudden at my wedding dinner in front of everybody...
...you decide to grace us all with your development.
I just got home.
"Gee. Hey, everybody and guests...
"just in case you might be thinking about something else for five minutes...
"like, I don't know, my sister's wedding, they just cut me loose.
"I'm a loose cannon! Anybody up for some rehab humor?
"Because I'm really, really fine with acknowledging my disease.
"Hey, and now watch me be really selfless and weave a lovely blanket apology.
"to my sister for being just a tad out of her loop. "
- You are so cynical. - Rachel, enough.
Rachel, she is making an effort here.
An effort, is that what that was? Because I think she presumes.
...that since everything has always revolved around her disease...
...that everything else is going to revolve around her recovery. That's what I think.
- Rachel, she just got home. - Again.
- I had no idea you were so angry, Doctor. - I'm not.
Oh, my God.
Kymmie, your sister has got a lot on her plate right now.
- She is uptight about... - I'm not uptight, Dad!
This is like a 12-page scene and I think we wrapped at 2.00.
That's what working with Jonathan was like.
We did it a few times and he said, "I think we've got it. "
I'm like, "Really?"
Yeah, and that's why it would be so lovely if we could all...
You know, you people really need to purge.
You really should go to a Nar-Anon or something. It's...
Now, Kym, come on, baby. Oh, my Lord. We've been to Nar-Anon. You know that.
Wait, wait a second. You people? You mean, your family? The people in this room?
Yes. All of you people living in this little world of judgment.
...and paranoia and mistrust. I can feel it all the time. It's like...
At the slightest sign of ingratitude or.
...absence of atonement, it's like the fucking Salem witch trials around here.
- I should just use again. I should. - Don't even start that.
- Don't even start. - Wait, wait, wait.
Kym. Kym, look at me.
Nobody can make you feel any kind of way unless you let them. Period. The end.
Thank you, Carol...
...but you people are my family.
I mean, you make me feel like shit a hundred times a day.
You know what, Rach? You try living under Dad's constant monitoring for five minutes...
- Tell me how you like it. - What constant monitoring?
- Kym? - Oh, my God! Are you serious?
"Carol, Carol, where is she?"
"Don't sleep here, sleep here. Eat this. You know, I'll drive you. "
Dad, really, honestly, you're kind of obsessed.
Oh, my God. That's hardly news.
I mean, you may not know this, Kym. No, sure you do.
I mean, the only way to engage Dad in any meaningful communication.
...is to start the conversation with your name.
"Have you heard from Kym? How's Kym?" It resuscitates him.
It jars him into the moment, like an alarm.
- Rachel, that is not true. It is totally unfair. - What? She's even worse, Dad!
"Dad, you're never going to believe this, but that check you sent me.
"never showed up, and my landlord hates me. "
"Dad, can somebody meet me downstairs with cab fare?
"And you're never going to believe this but I lost my wallet and my checkbook got stolen.
"I got to go to the emergency room, and everybody hates me. "
I also love the writing in these scenes 'cause everybody is right.
There is no bad guy and there is no good guy.
Rachel is just as badly behaved as Kym is.
And I also love that they don't have to walk through the same room.
...to get back to the kitchen because we're shooting a movie where you can just live.
...but God forbid I should even reference the boundary thing...
...even though I actually know what I'm talking about.
By the way, I'm not in crisis. I haven't been in crisis in a year.
- You just got out of rehab! - Oh, my God!
Why is this so difficult for you to understand?
Rehabilitation, crisis. You should really learn the difference.
No, it's like you're not happy unless I'm in some kind of a desperate situation.
You have no idea what to do with me unless I'm in crisis.
Why am I the only one willing to say this shit?
You are so much more evolved in your suffering.
I'm not... Who is talking about that?
Your suffering is not the most important thing to everybody.
- Who is saying it is? - I have a life. I'm in school.
- I'm getting married. I'm... - What?
Pregnant.
I love Bill Irwin in this scene.
It's funny that so many people later said to me...
...that, God, Rachel just has such a move when she announces her pregnancy.
That, God, Rachel just has such a move when she announces her pregnancy.
And I thought it was just such an honest thing to do.
I think once you inhabit these characters, you become a lawyer for them.
...and you can justify all your behavior.
And watching it now, it does look like a move there to take her sister down.
But at the time I thought I really just wanted my family to know.
Roughly about the day before we decided to get married.
I can barely believe this myself!
How far? How along? You know?
I mean, how pregnant are you? Did you tell your mother?
- Yeah. We told her at dinner. - Good. Okay, good.
- She was so happy. - Dad, stop. Can you just stop?
Please. Seriously. Fuck me!
Rachel, I'm sorry, Dad, but you can't drop a tectonic bit of information.
...into a completely separate conversation, Rachel. You can't do that.
- Kym, you're going to have a niece. - Or nephew.
I know. Oh, God. Yeah, I'm excited for you. But you can't.
...tell me when we're talking like this, Rach. It's a total set-up. It's not fair.
Yeah.
God. I am so fucking exhausted.
Oh, God. Dad, will you tell her I'm happy for her?
She won't talk to me.
I'm really tired. I think I'm going to head up to bed. Sidney?
- Yeah. That's a great idea. - You're leaving now...
- in the middle of this conversation? - Yes.
Kymmie, she's pregnant and she's exhausted, baby.
Okay. Okay, fine. Fair enough.
Thank you so much for telling me about Hawaii.
- Congratulations, Sid. - Thanks.
Rachel, I cannot tell you how happy I am.
Do you guys want anything? Do you want a sandwich or anything?
You guys must be hungry. You got aloo gobi, there's cold saagwala.
- I really am pretty sleepy, Dad. - You really are pretty everything!
And you, too!
Holy cow. This has been one hell of a day. I think...
If you don't mind, sweetie, I'm just going...
- No! - I mean, my God.
- I'm just going to go to bed. - I'll be right up, dear.
- I just want to load the dishwasher. - Grandpa.
That's me.
Thanks for taking that.
- I'll see you in the morning. - Night, night. Sweet dreams.
You know, I hope it was okay that we told Mom at dinner about the baby.
There's not a lot of two-person scenes in this movie.
So you really get to earn these moments between each other.
when you get a quiet moment.
There were, I think, more in the script...
...but then if you're gonna shoot it.
...like a home movie, more like a documentary...
...it's very rare that two people sit down in a room together and solve all their problems.
It just sort of happens when you're not looking.
And I think that's how the movie is shot.
Okay, here's the rain. It just rained a lot while we were making this film.
And we just decided to use it. It was all in. Anything happened, we put it in the movie.
This is one of my favorite scenes to shoot.
If I could just shoot a scene with Debra Winger every day...
I'd be a happy woman.
And again, like most scenes, we didn't rehearse.
I think Debra and I came up early in the morning.
...before we had our hair and makeup done and talked about our weekend.
And Jonathan turned the light on and then said...
"Okay, you guys can go back and get ready. "
- Is your sister behaving herself? - I'm not exactly sure what that means.
As an actor you have to, sort of, forget that you're working with Debra Winger...
...otherwise you'd be too scared and nervous 'cause she's such a powerhouse.
And at this moment when I looked over my shoulder at the rain and turned back.
...and she smiled at me, I thought, "Oh, my God, it's Debra Winger. "
She is sort of so radiant, it takes your breath away.
And it felt so easy to work with her.
There's no acting going on.
That when we wrapped it I wanted to do it for seven or eight more hours.
Thank you, sweetheart. No, I don't.
Can you see me? I'd be one of those.
women, you know, like, the insane wedding mother...
And we truly didn't know what movie we were making. I remember in this scene...
And we didn't use it.
...but Declan would sort of zoom in on your hands or one of your eyes or...
And it was kind of liberating.
...because after a point you stopped worrying about the camera at all.
I hope it's a boy.
Just as long as it's healthy, that's what you say.
- Hi, I'm Kym. I'm an addict. - Hi, Kym.
I am nine months clean.
When I was 16, I was babysitting my little brother.
And I was...
I had taken all these Percocet and I was unbelievably high.
And I...
We'd driven over to the park on Lakeshore.
And he was in his red socks...
...just running around in these piles of leaves.
And he would bury me...
...and I would bury him in the leaves.
There's a great bit of storytelling as well in that.
Kym goes through this huge thing...
...there's a huge step of telling this story, I think, in her meeting.
She comes back to the house.
...and no one knows that that's what she just went through.
And we're still being petty and sisterly.
...and trying to get through the wedding.
But the audience is privy to all of it.
And.
I lost control of the car.
...and drove off the bridge.
And the car went into the lake.
And I couldn't get him out of his car seat.
And he drowned.
And I struggle with God so much.
...because I can't forgive myself.
And I don't really want to right now. I can live with it, but I can't forgive myself.
And sometimes, I don't want to believe in a god that could forgive me.
But I do want to be sober.
I'm alive and I'm present, and there's nothing controlling me.
If I hurt someone, I hurt someone.
I can apologize and they can forgive me or not.
But I can change.
And I just wanted to share that and say...
...congratulations that God makes you look up. I'm so happy for you.
But if he doesn't, come here. That's all. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing.
Where's... Where's you, Emma?
- Emma, where's you? - I'm right here.
- It's really raining. - That's today.
- Done. - It's going to be fine.
Okay.
I don't' know whose idea that was.
That we'd have like Monopoly pieces and ceramic figurines.
...represent all the guests at the wedding, but it was a really fun scene.
This is what you've got, Emma? So far?
I'm fine. That is kind of perfect.
There's six of each, right?
- Except for me. - I'm the telephone.
Hey, Rachel! Check it out!
It was very cold, this day. I remember.
It was October or November at this point.
And maybe with global warming.
...none of the leaves had started changing yet or falling off the trees.
So we just had to keep shooting more deeply into the fall.
God, it's amazing to me, 'cause when I watch the film I think about Jonathan.
...and all the scenes and what he said, and he said so little and just let us really go.
Because this is another scene I remember him giving me some direction.
But most of the time his direction would just consist of coming over.
...and whispering in my ear, "Be you. Be you. Be you. "
And then he would drift back into the scenery.
And this was another place where he didn't want me to let Kym off the hook.
But I realized he so rarely had something specific that he wanted you to hit.
He usually just watched what the actors were doing.
...and then maybe gently nudged them to go a little bit deeper.
That would make it 13, though. I think Rachel wanted to keep it to 12.
I don't know. I felt like he directed this movie without directing it at all.
Where are you putting me?
I was going to put you with Cookie Puss and the Chicago cousins.
...because they always get really drunk and need wrangling.
Well, can someone else do it? I was sort of planning on enjoying myself.
- You're the only one they're afraid of. - No, this is easy.
We can put Grandma Rose down here with her companion.
...at this other table, which is actually a really good idea.
Great. That's all I need. Another reason for Grandma Rose to hate me.
- She does not hate you. - Are you kidding?
She's still mad about the whole Rite Aid thing.
Nonsense!
Dad, can I show you something in the kitchen?
I guess my character's whole journey can be summed up in this scene.
"Can I just have a fucking day?"
- Eliza, would you excuse us for a moment? - Yeah.
Thanks.
- Rachel, what is this behavior? - Can I just have a day? Please?
Have all the days you want, darling. Nobody is trying to take your day.
Then why are you defending her?
Defending her from what? Rachel, nobody's defending anybody.
Why are you protecting her?
Because I don't want her to think we don't want her.
Sometimes I don't want her. It's my fucking wedding!
This was one of those scenes where I think there were five characters written into it...
...and Jonathan said, "Let's have everybody in this scene. "
So it started as this scene from Jenny's script.
...and it turned into something totally more.
Which was great because it was such an important moment in this family.
...to come back in contact with the loss of Ethan.
...because it's just the ghost in the room all the time.
But it just became this great...
...you know, dishwasher off.
And Jenny Lumet tells a great story about how this is something that really happened.
...in her childhood between her dad, Sidney Lumet, and Bob Fosse.
...that she witnessed.
Painful. Painful, sweetie.
All right.
Oh, no!
What, are we timing it?
Yeah, let's work with time, if you're going to do it right.
- Dad, what's the time limit? - Go!
- How long do you want to time it? - Two minutes.
Is that all right? Are you all right with that, sir?
And, of course, Bill Irwin had to pull back in this scene.
...because his physical comedy abilities are astonishing...
...but he had to be Paul Buchman, but when we finished the scene...
...of course, he did a lot of plate juggling with about ten plates at a time.
...and flipping them under his legs and everything.
But, he couldn't the camera was rolling 'cause I don't think Paul has that skill set.
It might be worth pointing out that the dishes need to be rinsed.
- Are you shaking in your boots? - You got 20 seconds.
Fifteen seconds left.
So amazing that the movie scores itself.
...by having friends who are musicians be around the house.
You know, all you young people who are applauding...
...you should go fuck yourselves.
- Sweetie, keep it clean! - No, I'm just saying.
- It's a wonderful attempt, Son. - Okay. I tried to fix it.
Kieran, if you could clean out that machine, I will then be able.
...to break out the whoop-ass on this young man here.
He's breaking out the whoop-ass!
- Let's break out the whoop-ass. - Break out the whoop-ass.
When that machine is empty, I will show you how it's done.
Something else I love about these group scenes is that it.
...gives the characters of Kym and Rachel an opportunity to be together without words.
Like you realize what it was like growing up and even when...
I don't even know if they looked at each other once in this scene.
when they're sitting right next to each other.
But that's all right. I'm ready any time you say "go. "
Go!
Bill Irwin is good at loading the dishwasher.
He must've done a lot of research.
Go, Dad!
Here, Son. Have some.
Cup handles!
It's a side load. I love this scene 'cause every time I watch it I hear something new.
He's good.
Buchman, in front of your family.
Buchman, your women will weep.
Last one!
- Could I have my time, please? - You have 15 seconds left.
We trusted Jonathan so much because these scenes all you knew, a scene like this...
was that you had to reveal the plate and stack the dishwasher.
And anything that happened in between just happened.
But you really had to trust each other and trust that Jonathan knew
...that the moment the dish came out Declan would find it.
Because other than that there was just no roadmap.
Such a great way to fly, without a safety net.
Let's grab some lemonade on the porch.
Is everything okay?
And I love that she just puts one plate on top.
There was a scene in the car here that we cut out.
where we talked about Kym, that she wanted to light a candle for Ethan.
And I thought it was inappropriate.
She does light a candle for Ethan at the end...
...but I like that we never say what it is and the audience has to figure it out.
We've also had some screaming matches, she and I up to this point.
And I remember the scene after we get our hair done.
was written with a lot of capital letters and a lot of exclamation points.
And I remember Jonathan... I said, "Jonathan, I don't know.
"I've been screaming at her so much. I just...
"I don't know if the audience can bear it, or if we can bear it. "
He said, "So don't yell, be soft. "
And I loved that we didn't even try the yelling version.
Oh, my God.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
God is punishing me.
No, no, he's blessing me.
Well. Wow.
- So, how are you? - I'm great. I'm great.
You remember? We were in the hospital together, right?
We were... Were you at Milestones?
No. I didn't go to Milestones. I didn't have the coverage.
We were on the same floor at Loeb House.
Okay.
- You look great. - Twenty-eight months, clean and sober.
Praise God.
God, Kym is really caught here.
I can't believe that I'm seeing you again.
I know. It's so weird.
Listen.
Do you remember that exercise...
Funny thing is, I actually couldn't hear this conversation going on.
I was supposed to be having such a strong reaction.
...to what he was telling her and what she had said in rehab.
And they were just playing a really intimate scene and I just actually couldn't hear it.
That's one of those movie magic moments where it looks as though we can.
You.
were so brave.
The way your uncle abused you and your sister.
...and how it led to your sister's anorexia.
And how you stayed up nights with her when she was down to 50 pounds.
I will never forget reading that...
- I swear to God. - Yeah.
I never, ever, thought I would have the chance to thank you.
It was your strength.
...that gave me the courage.
...to confront my own abuse and help turn my life around.
Yeah, this is a scene that I love that Jonathan let us just to do it quietly.
Sorry, I just need a second. Rachel?
Rachel?
Rachel, what are you doing?
Where... Where are you going?
Rachel!
You know, I never had anorexia.
And you certainly didn't watch over me while I was sleeping.
And we don't have a.
...goddamned pedophile uncle who made our childhood a living hell.
...and explains away all your shit in one fell swoop.
Did you tell them that Dad forced us into a life of prostitution as well?
I wasn't hurting... No one got hurt, Rach.
- I'm hurt. - Where are you going?
Rachel, open the door. Rachel!
This next scene was probably my favorite...
Well, one of my favorite scenes to shoot in the movie.
I love the writing. It was the first thing that hooked me when I read the script.
And it was sort of impossible...
Dad, don't tell me what I don't hate.
...not to be full when you're saying these words.
We shot pretty much in sequence so by the time we got to this scene...
...a lot of stuff had accumulated.
- Where am I now, Dad? - Thank God.
And I love that it's a civilized sit down conversation.
Because these people love each other so much.
...and they're so desperately trying to figure out how to forgive.
...and love each other better.
And that was funny, too. Because Jonathan had them playing...
...because they were always playing. And we kept saying...
"God, are they gonna play during this scene. This is sort of an intense scene. "
And, "It's kind of loud, and this scene needs to be quiet. "
And Anne sort of asked one of the PAs if they could run back and tell Jonathan.
...or the second AD that, "Can you ask Jonathan to have them stop playing?"
And he said, "Well if you want them to stop playing you'll have to ask them yourself. "
And then Anne yells out, "Are they going to play all weekend?"
Do you have any idea.
...how lonely it was here with everybody gone.
...into your.
...terrible little world? I mean, there was nothing left.
Everybody was just empty.
You think that they.
...knew I was alive or needed anything during your.
...life?
And after all that, the fights, the screaming...
...the blaming, the loneliness...
It's so hard to watch this scene for me, because...
For a couple of reasons, one, the intimacy between parents and children.
...and how hard it is grieve together, sort of slays me.
And then also, I had to draw a line in the sand with Kym.
And I couldn't really take her in and when I watched the movie for the first time...
I really felt for her character in a way that I couldn't allow myself as her sister.
- What? - God.
I looked over after one of the takes in this scene.
...and Declan, like I said, who is really another character in our film...
...he was crying with us. Like, I think the eye piece was getting fogged up.
...and he had to wipe his eyes 'cause he really was one of the family members.
...going through this with us.
I wanted her to get better or just die.
- Rachel, she's better. - And... No, no.
Recovery doesn't work if you lie. She knows that.
I am worthless to her.
- She doesn't give a shit about the rest of us! - You are not worthless. How dare you!
You're my sister.
I love you guys. I need you guys, but you don't.
...get to sit around for the rest of my life deciding.
what I'm supposed to be like. I mean, you weren't there.
You weren't inside of my head when I was fucked-up.
I don't know what Anne would say about this scene.
...but I feel like the writing is so good, it was one of the easiest scenes to shoot.
...because we just had to say the words.
Okay. You were high for his life. You were not present.
- Okay. You were high. - Yes.
And you drove him off a bridge. And now he's dead.
- Rachel, it was an accident. - Yes, I was.
And poor Paul Buchman who has to sit and...
That he can't leave the room for this. It's just heartbreaking.
Who do I have to be now?
I could be Mother Teresa. It wouldn't make a difference what I did.
Did I sacrifice every bit of.
...love in this life because I killed our little brother?
- It was an accident. It was an accident. - And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Kymmie, Kymmie, it was an accident. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
And I don't think Rachel can stay with her dad in that moment.
That's the thing about the grief of this family, is they can't do it together.
And, obviously, Abby can't do it with them either. It was just too big of a loss.
And to have that sort of weave through the whole movie.
...and through the joy of pregnancy.
...and a marriage is just...
I think what, to me, is so beautiful about the movie.
...is trying to overcome that obstacle, and they do.
At times, baby steps.
I like that we don't all go into alarmist mode when she's gone.
...because you really see that this has been the pattern.
You know, it's not like everybody's calling 911.
They've been down this road a million times.
And I think you can feel the weight of it in this scene.
I mean, when I... When I got out, I didn't see them for years.
And it just really takes time, and I... And...
If you're not ready to take responsibility for something...
...people make something up, which is probably what happened, but...
I mean, you know, honestly, Rachel, that happened like...
It was a couple of years ago...
Paul, do you want me to go out and look for her?
No.
You can't. I mean, you have a wedding tomorrow. A hundred people...
I'll go. I mean, you know... It's fine. I'll go.
- Where are you going to go? - I can take a look for her.
Do you guys know where she might be, or...
I love that this is the caterer.
I'm sorry?
Anna Deavere Smith does some great listening right there.
And I love the relationship between Kieran and Kym, too.
They definitely are not meant to be... They shouldn't be having sex
...if they're both in the program, but then it really leads to.
...this complicated, messy relationship which is so important to the film.
I need a glass of water.
And this is one of the craziest scenes in the movie.
It's like Greek tragedy.
Is Andrew going to be home soon?
Yes. He just went to a dinner. Not late.
Did something happen with you and Rachel?
Is everything all right with the wedding?
- Yeah. - Good.
Why did you leave me in charge of him?
You knew. All of you knew.
- Kym. - People told you.
I was a junkie. I was a crazy drug addict.
- I stole from you. - Yes.
I lied to your face.
I weighed six pounds. My hair was falling out.
- I spent every dinner in the bathroom. - Honey, you were sick.
- That was an illness. - You know what I was.
I stayed in my room for days. I passed out all the time.
No, no.
- What were you thinking? - No.
Why did you leave me?
The way that Debra Winger says the word "sweetheart" in this scene...
I've just never heard anything like that.
It's just ten years of pain.
No! You were good with him!
- You were the best you were with him! - Listen to me! Listen!
I didn't expect you to kill him, sweetheart!
- You were not supposed to kill him! - Mom!
Mom! What are you doing? Get off!
- Oh, God! God! - Mom!
I love that Anne gets to hit her back. I thought this was just a brutal scene.
They're so fierce.
This I think in the script originally it was that "Kym hits a deer. "
And I kind of love that they changed it...
...and that she's just at this point in her life can't go right, and she can't go left.
There's no other way that she can go...
...so she just crashes.
There's nowhere for this girl to go.
We also shot a scene that didn't stay in the movie...
where Emma and Rachel spooned in bed waiting for Kym to come home.
And we didn't need it.
But like so many things, we had the experience of doing it.
And if you just hold another actor for three hours and shoot a scene...
...you're going to become good friends with them.
So when you're shooting the wedding...
...you know that this person really is your maid of honor, your best gal.
Are you okay, miss?
Right over here. It's a mess.
It's Kym. I'm fine.
I...
- Thanks a lot. - No problem.
This scene when she comes back originally had dialog in it.
And maybe it was almost a little funny. And they took it out.
And I think it was a smart choice.
...because the big sister thing to do when your baby sister comes home.
...and is all broken and battered is to take her and give her a bath.
This was another one of my favorite scenes to shoot.
Anne was so...
Oh, God, she was just so raw and vulnerable in it.
- Kymmie, are... Oh, God. Are you all right? - Yeah. I just need to go.
No, we've got to get to the hospital.
No, Dad. I need to get dressed.
And again you feel like they've been here so many times before...
...but this is one of those baby steps towards forgiveness.
where I think everything just falls away.
And we did some improvs in the bathtub, too...
where we had some stories.
...and jokes and cried together.
But, in the end, I think that the silence is best.
And this is the first time we see that Kym has an "Ethan" tattoo on her back.
And Rachel's got grandma's ring and it's all interwoven.
- Fuck. I'm sorry. - That's all right.
Goes in, like, 12 directions.
I'm so happy you're home.
There's some CGI... You know, computer mocked-up pictures.
...of putting Annie and I together, from when she was a little girl and I was a little girl.
Of putting Annie and I together, from when she was a little girl and I was a little girl.
We looked like midgets.
Again, like the rehearsal dinner, we just did maybe three takes of the ceremony.
So, it had that feeling of just really living it. I think it was raining.
I don't know how it looks sunny there, but I think it was raining outside at that point.
I love this little boy at the entrance here with Olive.
And a few days before we shot this scene Jonathan said that, "You know, it's scripted.
"that we hear what Sidney says and then he sings her a song.
"And I think it would be really cool to hear Rachel's side of things. "
And then I was sort of like, "Are you kidding me? People take months.
"or a year to write their wedding vows. " And I had a day to come up with it.
But it was so great to sort of regroup and figure out where this woman was.
...at this point in her life.
And say what I really wanted to say to this man.
This is the first time that Abby and Kym see each other.
From this point on Rachel and Kym are aligned in a way that they haven't been.
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel - Sidney, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney.
And of course I was nervous. It was like that bridal fear of public speaking.
...and it was all right there and there's no acting here.
There's Jenny Lumet in the back right there.
...and in joining themselves together in holy wedlock.
The weather's been pretty miserable all weekend, but now it's a beautiful day.
And it's a beautiful day because when two people come together.
who really love one another and want to share that with other people...
...it makes it a beautiful day.
So Sidney Williams and Rachel Buchman have come do to that.
And, Rachel, you go first.
Paul Buchman likes to say.
...that the measure of a great life is.
...not how well loved you are...
...but how well you love others.
Sidney, you teach me that every day.
You are just so full of grace...
...and I promise before God and these beautiful people.
...that I will love you fiercely.
...and sweetly.
And I look forward to sharing that great life with you.
Thank you for marrying me.
This is another one of my favorite scenes in the movie.
It was...
The easiest part to play was when he sang to me.
I was just utterly swept away by the purity...
You're welcome.
...of that moment.
That he could stand there in front of those people with no music and just sing that.
I used to order just to watch her float across the floor.
She grew up in a small town.
Never put her roots down.
Daddy always kept moving, so she did, too.
You know it ain't easy.
You got to hold on.
She was an unknown legend in her time.
Now she's dressing two kids.
Looking for a magic kiss.
She gets the faraway look in her eyes.
Somewhere on a desert highway.
She rides a Harley-Davidson.
Her long brown hair flying in the wind.
She's been running half her life.
The chrome and steel she rides colliding with.
The very air she breathes.
The air she breathes.
Do we have some rings?
Sidney, you go first and place the ring on Rachel's hand.
Do you?
Yeah, I do.
Sidney does. Do you, Rachel?
I love the expectant looks on all the guests' faces.
By the power vested in me by the state of Connecticut and by Neil Young...
I pronounce that they are husband and wife, and now you can kiss him.
And then we just go on and have the best wedding ever.
I mean, who gets Robyn Hitchcock and Sister Carol East to play at their wedding.
I love this not-scripted moment where Abby and Paul run into each other.
And have to hug each other.
And I think Jonathan had been to a wedding where the bride and groom fed everybody...
...and so, they had these "Rachel and Sidney" aprons made and we served our guests.
And of course, all the actors really got to chow down.
We just had a wedding.
Okay. We're going to cut the cake.
That cake...
You know, I was supposed to put my finger in it and smear it and give him a bite.
It was as hard as a rock. Really something.
Can we all do this together?
Everybody.
Kym?
Wait. Where's... Where's Kym?
I'm here.
Mom?
- Dear God... - Wait, wait, wait. Mom.
Okay, look at the camera. One, two, three.
That's great. Thank you.
Dear God, please bless this family and let them always invite us over for dinner...
...because God knows my new wife cannot boil water or fry an egg.
I love that they just bust out the good music right here in the afternoon.
They don't even wait to go to the tent.
I was singing this song for like six months after we wrapped the movie.
There was a take where Anne and I tried to dance with each other to this song...
...and we like smashed our knees into each other.
And we were like, "God, these two sisters can't do anything right together. "
And Abby just can't participate.
In this scene and in the scene in the tent, I just love to watch how Kym dances.
...and how she...
Sort of, how internal it is.
There's Jonathan's daughter Jo Jo.
And now a word from our sponsor.
Mr. Buchman, if you please!
I'm getting now to the Williams family. It's a done deal. We're relatives.
We were fortunate that they could be joined by Specialist Joseph Gonzales.
Son, we want you home and we want you to put that damn camera down.
I remember feeling like this was the moment, you know, Emma and Rachel had planned.
...the surprise for Sidney, these Brazilian dancers...
...as part of his wedding present, and that this was the moment.
...that all the stress would melt away, you know, all the wedding planning.
And Rachel and Sidney would just let themselves go.
...and dance themselves into a frenzy.
And in reality it was really cold, the night we were shooting, and wet.
And it just didn't happen.
I mean, we had a blast but that release that I was looking for.
...just didn't happen, that surrender.
And it did come, but it came in the last scene of the movie.
Which I guess was the right place for it.
But I remember the actor in me wanted it here.
...and intellectually thought that this is where it was gonna come.
And it just... I still felt like the crazy, control-freak bride, just having a good time.
It's so much fun to watch people dance.
And I just love how in her own world Kym is here.
Just seeing... You could see in this sequence all the struggle in her...
...the fight.
I think Jonathan met that woman in the subway in New York City...
...the one with the fur hat.
And just went up and said, "Would you be in our movie?"
That's what the whole movie feels like, this is like a big jam session.
You know, at this point all the musicians in the film get to play together.
...and that's sort of like what we were all doing all the time.
And this is where.
Kym, sort of, goes out and lights the candle in Ethan's memory.
Which the audience doesn't really know or maybe they, sort of, do get it.
It's never named. But I love that about the film...
...that a lot of things are not named or explained away.
God, Kyrah's got some moves. It looks like it's in slow motion or something.
That was a lasso maneuver from my college days I had to work in there.
Just to make my friends watching laugh.
Hey.
- Hey. - Sorry.
No. Come in.
Come on.
Have you seen Mom?
No, she's probably taking a break.
How do you take a break from your own daughter's wedding?
You know Mom. She doesn't really...
Oh, yeah. Here's the party.
Okay, this is too cute for me.
- Hello? - Hello?
Rachel. Well, here you all are. I've been looking all over for you.
Hey.
So lovely. I'm truly...
This is another one of my favorite scenes.
Because I think these two girls just need their mom so much.
And they're gonna will this moment to happen.
And it was fun as an actor because Debra wanted to get out of the hug.
Once the hug happened, she desperately wanted out.
...and it was fun to just not let her out of it.
And to wait until the moment happened where the three of them got to be together...
...even if it's just for this one moment and if it never happens again.
'Cause I'm not sure that it ever will happen again. I think it was important to Rachel.
I think she's been trying to be the glue of this family her whole life.
...and trying to bring them together and she has one moment to do it.
And she just wants to have that and she takes it.
And then I think something shifts.
You're not going to get up early. That was silly. Anyway...
I have to get Andrew ready 'cause he's absolutely hopeless in this way.
So... We'll just be a bit and then we'll be back.
Everything was so lovely, even the weather cooperated.
It was beautiful, honey. Okay.
Wait.
I want my mother and my sister.
- Congratulations, Daddy. - Thanks.
All right, Rachel.
- All right, Rach. Okay. - Okay.
- You'll call me every day about you know... - Yes. Of course.
- You take care. All right? - Bye.
- Son-in-law. - Mother-in-law.
Take care of yourself.
And you know we tried, there's only so much hope for Abby.
- Paul, Carol, it was so lovely. - Thank you.
- Get some rest. - Okay.
And then Kym wants to try one more time and she just gets stopped.
It's so heartbreaking.
Kymmie. Kym.
You remember Susanna Galeano?
- Hi. - Hi, Kym. How are you?
Suzy runs a first rate PR firm and, darling...
...she has just lost an office assistant.
We really are down a person. And I was wondering...
...have you ever thought about public relations?
The public's kind of afraid of me.
Listen, Suzy is opening a new office right here.
- Darling, you could be at home. - I tell you what.
- Why don't you call me on Monday? - Give her a card.
- And we can talk about it? - That would be great.
- This is just too perfect. - It's stuck, here we go.
- Thank you. - Paul, it was beautiful.
- I'm gonna have to go. - Suzy, Suzy, thank you. I know.
You look wonderful.
Just now watching, it's striking me that as much as this film's about the moments...
...it's about the absence of them as well.
And the expectations of them and the ones that don't happen, like this scene right here.
And I think families are full of those.
And then you just go on the best you can.
And there's a missed one right there.
And that shot right there I think is similar to the shot...
...the very last scene when Kym's car pulls away and we see the back of Rachel's neck.
The very last scene when Kym's car pulls away and we see the back of Rachel's neck.
Even though there were so few planned shots...
...sometimes there were those happy accidents.
Or maybe they weren't accidents, maybe Jonathan planned everything.
I think I shot the entire movie.
...under the assumption that Kym was getting out of rehab for good.
And when I watched the movie it looks as if.
...she was always out on, sort of, a weekend pass.
And maybe that changed in the editing of the movie...
...but it was so great because it kept the stakes up really high, I think.
And it's funny to me that you can think one thing while making a movie.
...and then see the movie and it's something completely different.
I love this moment with Anisa right here.
She's awesome.
Hello?
And I love that there's no tightly wrapped bow in this relationship either.
And, you know, maybe Kieran hooked up with somebody else last night...
...that he was dancing with, and yet there is this bond there between them.
So complicated.
No. If you ever need anything.
Thank you.
Maybe you'll come visit me in Hawaii.
- That would be nice. - Yes, it would.
- I got to go. - Okay.
- I got it. - Okay.
And then she just can't say goodbye to her father because he won't let her go.
He just can't.
Daddy?
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- How you feeling? - I'm okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You should probably just ignore the eye. It's a long story.
- Okay. - Kymmie.
Hey.
- Hey, I'm Kym's sister. - Hi.
- This is Rosa. - Rachel.
Rachel, I heard a lot about you. You got married.
- I did, yeah. - Congratulations.
Thank you.
I think this was actually our last...
...one of our last shots.
And that surrender...
what I was looking for, I felt like it happened here.
It's sort of amazing how you.
...make a movie...
...and you go through something and then you as a person are really changed after it.
And I thought Declan would stay on the car.
I thought that would be the last shot of the movie, the car driving off.
...into the distance.
But like every other shot in the movie...
...they just kind of stay on you and see what you're gonna do.
And then I always do that when I go in the house that I grew up in...
I always touch the doorway.
So, I did it and Jonathan said, "Keep it. "
And then we get to just listen to the music and life goes on.
I think eventually in this shot Jonathan joined us, too, but by then he cut.
I went down there.
...and listened to the music and pet the dog and eventually he came, too.
Well, that's it. Thank you so much for watching our film.
...and we had an amazing time making it.
And thanks for being part of that.